Brinson M. Harris presents
A Virtual Television, Inc. Production
Res Ipsa Loquitur
The most significant development for all mankind since the discovery of fire, perfection of the wheel and introduction of flow-through tea bags and the product of minutes of intense thought and hard work, Project Res Ipsa Loquitur utilizes some but not most of the keen intellect of our founder to determine with absolute certainty the Great Truth of mass media.
Through a TOP SECRET, patented and dishwasher safe evaluative process invented by the intellectual giant, aesthetic mutant & convention adhering microbe Brinson M. Harris, mass media itself, not some pipe smoking egghead in tweed or far out hippie radical, tells its own gripping, riveting and way compelling tale.
The perfection of the CRM-114 Discriminator circuitry in combination with the AE-35 high gain antenna allows the Great Truth to be downloaded directly from the mediasphere and renders all other analysis, insights and observations obsolete. And no, CRM-114 is not a metafictional reference to Stanley Kubrick's work, as clever as that would be.
The Content Relevance Modulation-114 circuit scans the complete content of every bit of mass media ever created and plays back the Great Truth in narrative form in actual media content. And no, there were not 113 previous unsuccessful prototypes--it's 411 spelled backwards.
No longer will it be necessary, important or hip for any authority figure petty or great to pontificate the Great Truth of mass media; because of Virtual Television Inc.'s incredible (sometimes we don't even beLIEve it ourselves--it's THAT deep) innovation and generosity, the Great Truth will now and forever in perpetuity be told by mass media itself.
But your mileage may vary.
Expected on TV screens near everyone at some point in 2012 anno domini.
SNEAKY PREVIEWS AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE!!!
Author's Preface/Ominous Harbinger to sneaky previews:
Involuntary surfing down the stream of consciousness was never more fun than The Emperor's New TV Show, where we do the surfing for you.
The sum total of our mediasphere minus the sales pitches, multiplied by reruns and divided by channel changes selected just for you! It's the show created by channel surfing itself and tells the story of the human condition, life, the universe and everything by juxtaposing content from stupid sit coms, cheesy movies, mind numbing propaganda and stuff we here at Virtual Television, Inc. saw and conquered on TV.
A metafictional art work built from the detritus, flotsam and jetsam of mass media sewn together Dr. Frankenstein-style to form my daydreams and/or the nightmares of H. Marshall McLuhan and webcast under the auspices of the fair use exceptions to applicable copyright laws of the United States of America.
Got a few mikes to kill? Click baby, click!
^They're links at the top! Click 'em!^
5 sneaky little shit previews to the latest Virtual Television, Inc. production for 2010.
The above videos are only mere fragments of slivers of samples of specimens of biopsies of selections of snippets of shavings of peeks of our (the royal/editorial sense) new program for the 21st century, all digital for your viewing pleasure/intellectual edification/morbid curiosity/clinical & scientific interests:
Almost done and soon to be premiering at Brinson's house or on DVD for those in good standing with him. And if you have to ask...
Rife with originality, reeking of artistic merit, lousy with artistic production values and starring me. Yeah, that's right. An hour of Brinson's finest hour.
But do us a favor and just chill out for now with the sneak preview while he does whatever it is he does.
Read what our satisfied viewers have to say about the experience:
1. "WTF???" said a very eloquent viewer of extremely cultured and discerning taste.
2. "DUDE!!" exclaimed another scholar and gentlewoman.
3. "I don't get it," said a slack jawed troglodyte with no imagination whatsoever as he spread frosting with a paper knife and prepared to fry bread in Wesson oil.
4. "This program violates most tenets of the Code of Hammurabi, eviscerates the most important terms of the Kyoto protocol, breaks major covenants of the Napoleonic code, flies in the face of large portions of the Edict of Nantes, abuses a great number of the provisions of the Magna Carta, and probably makes a mockery of a sham of a travesty of a burlesque of a satire of many of the terms of the treaty of Brest-Litovsk, but considering it's webcast under the auspices of the fair use exceptions to applicable copyright laws of the United States of America, I totally dig it," said a guy who is not an attorney, but who once auditioned to play one on TV.
5. "I really liked the part when that guy from that one movie sounded almost like he was finishing the sentence of that other guy from that other movie," said a viewer whose favorite episode of Gilligan's Island is the one where they almost get rescued, but Gilligan does something really stupid at the last minute that screws everything up and they stay marooned.
6. "This program, and by program I mean just that, is truly a work that will influence those who, without having seen it before, would not have otherwise been influenced. A masterpiece of popular media and culture that doesn't easily resort to the sort of platitudes one expects from something so spectacular and of tremendous world import. If one were to find any fault with the work it would be the obvious and intentional lack of Hawaii Five-O reference. Clearly most of the second, and several parts of the third act, lack Jack Lord's commanding presence and because of it, the piece never really fully delivers on its promise of an angry yet determined South Pacific protagonist who will fruitlessly devote his life to the pursuit of a nemesis named Wo Fat. "You got a lot of relatives Chin, use 'em" "Okay, Steve". Was that so hard? You got a lot of explaining to do Mr. Harris. I can only hope you get it right in the sequel," said an actual Hollywood mogul & lawyer upon viddying the show.
7. "For this reviewer, The Emperors New TV Show was entertaining to a degree, although its lack of a low-drag, laminar flow wing, four blade constant speed propeller, powerful but fuel efficient Packard-built Rolls-Royce Merlin engine, armament of six .50 caliber M-3 Browning machine guns and bubble canopy made it unsuitable as an escort fighter. The programs beechwood aged odor was a little overpowering at times, but its 525 lines of resolution (more than Elvis Presley or The Beatles) and capacity to make hundreds of Julienne fries put it at the top of the warm, steaming, fly-buzzed heap," according to an industry insider with considerable power, influence and prestige who really knows his stuff.
8. "Our test drive revealed a sluggishness in tight turns that accented the programs lack of rack and pinion steering and an independent MacPherson front strut suspension, although it did score very well in passenger comfort and ease of parallel parking. Many if not some portions of the program rated very highly in orthopedic comfort, drinkability and moral clarity, although others caused dizziness and nausea in 4 out of 5 dentists surveyed," said a source close to the investigation on condition of anonymity with a devilish grin and heavenly haircut.
Add your comment if you dare:
It'll be put here if it's clever, insightful or mind altering, and ignored it if it's not at least entertaining.
*No ones or zeroes were harmed in the creation of this Virtual Television, Inc. production.